What are the popular song titles? - answers below now

These are the names of well known Christmas songs, rewritten in PC (pretty convoluted). If you like puzzles, try to decipher them. If not, just get a chuckle from matching up the translations!

Example: Heavenly beings at extreme altitudes my associates and I perceived auditory stimulus emanating from.
Translation: "Angels we have heard on high"

1. Sir Lancelot with severe laryngitis
2. Boulder of the tinkling metal spheres
3. Vehicular homicide was committed on Dad's mom by a precipitous darling
4. Wanted in late December: top forward incisors
5. The apartment of two psychiatrists
6. The lad is a diminutive percussionist
7. I exclaim, a member of the round table with missing areas
8. Decorate the entryways
9. Cup shaped instruments fashioned of a whitish metallic element
10. Oh small Israel urban center
11. Far off in a hay bin
12. Kong, Lear, and Nat Cole ...that's us!
13. Duodecimal enumeration of the passage of the yuletide season
14. Leave and broadcast from an elevation
15. Our fervent hope is that you thoroughly enjoy your yuletide season
16. Listen, the winged heavenly messengers are proclaiming tunefully
17. As the guardians of the woolly animals protected their charges in the dark hours
18. I beheld a trio of nautical vessels moving in this direction
19. Jubilation to the entire terrestrial globe
20. Do you perceive the same vibrations which stimulate my auditory sense organ?
21. A joyful song of reverence relative to hollow metallic vessels which vibrate and bring forth a ringing sound when struck
22. Parent was observed osculating a red coated unshaven teamster
23. May the Deity bestow an absence of fatigue to mild male humans
24. Rose colored uncouth dolf is aware of the nature of precipitation, darling. (Tricky)

Have fun translating these to their popular titles.
Pastor Kitner
Merry Christmas

I'LL SHOW THE ANSWERS LATER. See the translations below........>

Translations: of Christmas Songs


1. Silent Night
2. Jingle Bell Rock
3. Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer
4. All I Want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth
5. Nutcracker Suite
6. The Little Drummer Boy
7. Oh, Holy Night
8. Deck the Halls
9. Silver Bells
10. O Little Town of Bethlehem
11. Away in a Manger
12. We Three Kings
13. 12 Days of Christmas
14. Go Tell It On the Mountain
15. We Wish You A Merry Christmas
16. Hark the Herald Angels Sing
17. As Shepherds Watched Theit Flocks By Night
18. I Saw 3 Ships on Christmas Day
19. Joy to the World
20. Do You Hear What I Hear
21. The Bells of Christmas Are Ringing
22. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
23. God Rest You Merry Gentlemen
24. Rudolph (rude) the Red Nosed Reindeer (knows rain, dear)

WOW - !

More Thanksgiving Goodies

May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy have nary a lump....
May your yams be delicious and your pies take the prize, and
May your Thanksgiving dinner stay off your thighs!!

Things to Do to Liven Up Thanksgiving Dinner

Here is a little Thanksgiving humor . . .


Things to Do to Liven Up Thanksgiving Dinner

1. Load your plate up high, then take it to the kitchen, toss it all in the blender, and take your "shake" back to the table. Announce that it's the new Thanksgiving Weight Loss Shake.

2. When everyone goes around to say what they are Thankful for, say, "I'm thankful I didn't get caught" and refuse to say anything more.

3. Bring along old recorded football games, pop them in the VCR when Dad's not looking. Make sure it is set to the last two minutes of the game. When he comes into the room, turn off the VCR and turn on the regular TV.

4. Bring a date that only talks about the tragic and abusive conditions known to exist at turkey farms.

5. During mid-meal turn to mom and say, "See mom, I told you they wouldn't notice that the Turkey was past expiration date. You were worried for nothing."

Be blessed!
Have a wonderful and happy Thanksgiving Day and stay home on black Friday if you can... :-)

Pastor Kitner

This is for the birds

Awesome

Traveling Today

We are headed back home to Pa. today. Getting up early to go to the airport to check in, check the baggage and go through the TSA before boarding the plane. Hopefully we will have time for coffee and a little something to eat as well.

Blessings on Ya!
Pastor Kitner

This is God.
Today I will be handling All of your problems for you.. I do Not need your help. So, have a nice day.

I love you.

P.S. And, remember...
If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do Not attempt to resolve it yourself! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME.. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours.

Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.

If you find yourself stuck in traffic, don't despair. There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege.

Should you have a bad day at work; think of the man who has been out of work for years..

Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; think of the person who has never known what it's like to love and be loved in return.

Should you grieve the passing of another weekend; think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her children.

Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance; think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.

Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror; think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.
Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all about, asking what is my purpose? Be thankful. There are those who didn't live long enough to get the opportunity.

Should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities; remember, things could be worse. You could be one of them!

Should you decide to send this to a friend; Thank you. You may have touched their life in ways you will never know!

Now, you have a nice day...God

Author unknown to me.

Blessings on Ya!
Pastor Kitner

What is Your Personality Pattern? - click here

Assertive, Prudent, unflappable, introspective, resillient, competeitive, calm, centered, inovative, or creative, which of these describes you? Take the test and see.
Take the Personality Patterns survey to help you pinpoint and explore the unique characteristics that make up your personality

Be blessed!
Pastor Kitner

Children Go Where I Send Thee by Tennessee Ernie Ford - click here

Tennessee Ernie Ford was a wonderful singer and had a TV show of his own that we all loved.
This is worth watching.
Nothing was edited back in those days! Ernie's son, Brian, sitting next to Ernie, is priceless.
If you like Tennessee Ernie Ford, you'll love this! For all you young folks who don't know who he is, you really missed something - he was great. Enjoy!!

WATCH THE LITTLE BOY.......HE IS PRICELESS

Thank you Men of God web site for the posting.

Blessings on Ya!
Pastor Kitner

New Stuff

I had to get a new phone setup because the new phone that I just bought didn't have a belt holder or a headphone set up. I got a new phone setup that has both of those things and now my wife is happy. I am going to take the other new phones out to my church to use them there because the phone set that I have there is not good at all. So two things were solved at once.
I also got my wife a new TV but it had to be connected to the Direct TV hook up because we live in an area that can not get the digital TV channels without an outside antenna. Now I have to buy a Direct TV universal remote because the TV is a Best Buy brand called Dynex and the regular remote can't be programed to operate the TV and the Direct TV box at the same time. Wal-Mart has the universal remote for the Direct TV controls so I will get one there.
It seems like nothing is an easy just do it kind of thing anymore. :-)

Blessings on Ya!
Pastor Kitner

Delays Happen

Do Not Be Anxious About Anything

An old train on a branch line was puffing and creaking slowly through the countryside when suddenly it lurched to a stop. The only passenger in the three-car train rose quickly to his feet and hurried to find the conductor. "Why have we stopped?" he demanded. "I'm I a salesman and I have an appointment in less than an hour in the next town. Surely this old train can make it through a pasture!"

The conductor smiled, "Nothing to worry about, sir. Just a cow on the tracks. Gotta wait her out." The salesman returned to his seat, fuming and fidgeting until the train began to creep forward again about ten minutes later. It chugged along for a mile or two and then ground to a halt once again.

This time the conductor found the salesman. "Don't worry," he said. "We'll be on our way shortly. It's just a temporary delay." The exasperated salesman asked, "What now? Did we catch up to the cow again?"

What the salesman didn't know was that the schedule for this particular train had been made so as to allow for temporary delays and cows on the track! The salesman made his appointment, but he was worn to a frazzle by his own frustration and concern.

Allow for delays. You'll enjoy life's journey more.

As seen in Pastor Charles Kitner's "Thought for Today." Contact him at sonforu@verizon.net Source: God's Little Devotional Book, by Honor Books Publishing Staff, published by Honor Books (c) June 1995, ISBN: 1562920960, http://isbn.nu/1562920960

Are Women Born this Way? :-)

Now that is a mouth full even for a grownup :-) .



What did she say anyway?

Pastor Kitner

Thanks to Paul Grabill for having this on his blog.

Senior Adult Ministries Through the AOG - click here

Check this web site out even if you are not a senior yet.

Pastor Kitner

Just for Fun

Drumbone from Granger Community on Vimeo.

It wasn't the real Blue Man group...but three disguised volunteers from the church.

Blessings on Ya!
Pastor Kitner

Keep your Brain from Shrinking - click here

Does this describe you?

Someone sent this to me and I thought that I would share it with everyone.

(Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.
Somehow I feel better,even though I have it!!

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. -
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. )

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table,
put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back
on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think,
since I'm going to be near the mailbox
when I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table,
and see that there is only one check left..

My extra checks are in my desk in the study,
so I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks,
but first I need to push the Coke aside
so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Coke is getting warm,
and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke,
a vase of flowers on the counter
catches my eye--they need water.

I put the Coke on the counter and
discover my reading glasses that
I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk,
but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter,
fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I'll be looking for the remote,
but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,
so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers,
but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table,
get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to
remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

the car isn't washed

the bills aren't paid

there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter

the flowers don't have enough water,

there is still only 1 check in my check book,

I can't find the remote,

I can't find my glasses,

and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day,
and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,
and I'll try to get some help for it,
but first I'll check my e-mail....

Do me a favor.
Forward this message to everyone you know,
because I don't remember who I've sent it to.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day may come sooner than you think!!